Napoleon's Privates - It's Gone and I'm not Finished!

The book has disappeared.

Friday, I was in the middle of the 2nd to last chapter, totally rocking on the gossip and Big K decided we should get takeout. Eager for the chance to slip out of cooking for the night, I tossed the book on the ottoman and jumped for the takeout binder (Yes, I'm that anal. We have all our take out menus in a binder. Where is my straight-jacket?).

The book has been missing since.

I have turned this house upside down. I have crawled around on the floor, looked in the couch, questioned both dogs and Big K. No one knows where it is.

I hate leaving a book unfinished. It's like leaving the dishes half done or eating a half a piece of cake. It irks me, makes me crazy. I HAVE TO FINISH!!!

I'm off to call the bloodhounds, the National Guard and Gill Grisom from CSI. Some one needs to find that damn book!

Disappointment and Delight

Yes, I have been forgetting about this! I apologize. Margo, you are my only fan right now, so I beg your forgiveness. Sometimes life just makes ya crazy.

Anyway....

The rest of "Aphrodisiac" sucked. It was terrible. I can't believe that I wasted a few hours of my life on it. The author owes me my money and my hours back. I am currently searching for her contact information to tell her so.

On to better things.

Napolean's Privates is a scream! I love quirky stuff about history and I love juicy gossip. This book feeds both my needs. I learned that champange glasses are modeled after boobs, nuneries were once brothels, Hitler was rumored to have only one testicle and Napoleon's penis is living in someones house in New Jersey! Not only is this excellent stuff, there are footnotes that list more books!!! History freaks of the world unite!

Aphrodisiac - Pass the Cheese, Please

When I checked out the front cover of this book, I got excited when I read the review. ".....like Stephanie Plum" Stephanie Plum is my fav fictional heroine and when Janet Evanovich finally cranks out another book (Next one due Jan 6, 2009), you can be sure I will snatch it up and hibernate until I finish it. Big K hates when I read her novels in bed because I laugh out loud.

I am disappointed to say that this heroine, Saylor Oz, is no Stephanie. Who ever the hell wrote that should allow Janet E. to give them paper cuts with the pages of her next book. Saylor's antics are overly sexual and she has tendency to carry lube and vibrators in her purse. The writing style is elementary at best....almost like reading a good blog. Stephanie Plum's character is more developed and less cheesy. It's comparing a Hersey bar to homemade fudge. They're both chocolate, but one is richer and give you more satisfaction.

The story line is troublesome at best, but I'm only a few chapters in. I'm hoping I don't need to scan for the sex part again. I feel like I've been jipped!

Key Of Light - Thank God It's Over!

I finished. Finally. Although the end was interesting and I'm ashamed to admit that I could read the next book right now. But, I made the trip to Border and purchase three new shiny books (on sale, of course) to distract me from the second book in the trilogy. I tried to pick something that was interesting and different from what I normally read. Alas, they are slightly on the "mind candy" level, but different all the same.

I was wrong about the future pairings. It is now blatantly obvious that Brad and Zoe are gonna get it on and Dana and Justin will be knockin' da boots in the next book. The sex scenes between Malory and Flynn were quite yummy and NR made a deviation from the norm when she stuck in the "safe sex" part and had Flynn fumbling for a condom during the first romp. Not her normal m.o. Maybe she trying to be more politically correct. Thank God she didn't mention it in the second little tryst. I don't need to start thinking about my high school years and dating. YUCK. I'm sure it is evil for me to say that safe sex is not romantic, but....it's not. Nasty VD's and unplanned pregnancy does not exist in romance. NR should know better.

Key of Light - Now It's Getting Interesting

So, I skipped ahead to the sex part. I feel better now.

I have already noticed that this trilogy is very similar to the Three Sisters trilogy I read this summer that was also written by N.R. I enjoyed it because it had alot to do with witchcraft and was set on an imaginary island right off Cape Cod. I was really interested in Wicca a few years ago. It scared the hell outta Big K. I don't know why. I was just reading about it. Would he be freaked out if I started reading the Bible? Actually....yes....that would freak him out. I was raised with no religious affiliation and if I started ready gospel he would be just as weirded out.

So, the witchcraft thing had me hauling all the Wicca info books and spell books I had collected in the past years. If you read about the craft, it is a very beautiful religion. Very in-tune with nature and very spiritual. I wasn't casting spells, of course. But, the herbal aspect of it was interesting. It seems that many of the homeopathic remedies that are being used today came from these books that were written centuries ago. Of course, long ago these "healers" were viewed as witches.

Maybe I'm becoming involved because it's so close to Halloween. Next thing you know, I'll be straddling a broom and strutting around in a pointy hat.

The reason that "The Key of Light" similar, is I can tell that each book will have one of the women hooking up with a man.

(SIGH)

So this book, it's gonna be Mal and Flynn. I bet the next book it's gonna be Dana and Brad. I've gotta wonder who's gonna be the one for Zoe?

This is why I will need a break between each one.

Key of Light - ZZZZZzzzzz

I fell asleep! I didn't read anything! What does that say about the book?

Key Of Light - It's Dragging

Alright! All mind candy aside, this book is draggin'. Maybe I'm just reading too many books at a time. (Yes, I'm in the middle of 3 almost done with 1) This is just not stimulating me.

And she hasn't slept with Flynn yet! WTF. That's it! I'm scanning for the sex scene. Maybe it will hold my interest until the end.

I think I over did it on Nora this summer. It might be time to take a long break between the books in this trilogy and get myself excited again. The next read looks interesting and I've never heard of the author.

Oh Nora. You disappoint me!

Key of Light - It's Same Old, Same Old

Ah, Nora. You never fail me. It's the same old MO with you:

Girl has tragedy.
Girl meets guy.
Girl hates guy.
Girl is annoyed with guy.
Girl sleeps with guy.
Girl starts to fall in love with guy.
Guy helps Girl with dangerous ending.
Girl and Guy vow to spend the rest of their lives together in love.

If I wasn't desperate for mind candy right now, I would be so frustrated with this book. But, there is something comforting about the familiar writing style. It's like watching a movie for the umpteenth time. You know every part of it, you always discover a few new things and the ending always turns out the same way. After working my cranium to the max for 10 hours a day, it's nice to float through something. This is the first book in a trilogy. So I have 2 more books to go after this. I plan to take a break in between each one and pump my brain cells back up.

I'm about 1/3 of the way through and the mythology mentioned has me remembering high school and Mr. Davies Greek mythology class. I recall being fascinated by it all, but utterly confused. There were too many names to remember. Gods, Goddesses, Demi-Gods, Heroes, Nymphs.....the list was never ending. It was so perverse too. They were all married, but sleeping with everyone else. Zeus was always leaving Olympus to pork some unsuspecting woman that he was peeping on from up high. He would always trick them by appearing before them as their husband. Then Zeus's wife Hera would get pissed and punish the woman. The fate was always terrible and it wasn't even the poor woman's fault. She thought she was gettin' it on with her husband, not the King of the Gods. It's not their fault Zeus was a horny, cheating bastard.

I actually checked the On Demand section of our cable for "Clash of the Titian's". This is quite possibly the worst movie ever made. But, I still get a kick out of Medusa and you can never get tired of watching shirtless men in loincloths.

At least I'm not longer baking. The brownies were well received but were requested again, only if I omitted the raspberries. Chocolate and fruit are the ultimate combination. My guys need to liven up their palates!

I'm really needing these women to find that damn key and would she please sleep with Flynn already. I'm dying to find out if Nora describes it as a "throbbing member". That girl writes a pretty gnarly sex scene.

Dying For Chocolate - It Ends with Brownies

I know that I promised a post on Friday to review the "Lethal Layer" bars. But an unscheduled 3 hour spat with my husband, "Big K" kept me from posting on Friday night.

The bars sucked. They were dry and tasted weird. From reading the recipe, I expected them to taste a bit like chocolate pecan pie. Not even close. Big K and I tried them at home and I brought the rest into the office for further testing on my guys. Not well received.

D.M.D did not fail me on the ending. Sometimes I can figure out her books and I've already prepared myself for the end scene. Its always Goldy and the killer, neck in neck. How a cater gets herself into these messes is beyond me. Not very realistic, but good mind candy. I must say I was not prepared for the killer to be who it was.. I was also not prepared for the second death. But I must admit, I wasn't sad to see him go. He was such a douchebag.

Because these books always make me incredibly hungry, I did an obscene amount of cooking this weekend. I made a spoon roast on Saturday (thank God for crock pots) that we're going to eat tonight. Today, I made 5 quarts of homemade vegetable soup and 5 quarts of homemade chicken noodle soup. I'm not sure what inspired me to make such an enormous amount but it's here now. It could be the shitty weather that we were unprepared for. The raw, cold rain that has been falling since this morning. We've all be complaining about the mild fall we are having and attributing it to global warming. Well, global warming has been kicked in the ass by this cold snap and it's been damp and chilly all day.

Of course, I have to freeze all the soup. Big K isn't a huge fan of soup and even though I'm a hearty feeder, there is no way I can eat 10 quarts of soup in the next couple days. (Okay, I'm sure I could, but I really want to fit into my jeans next week)

I prepared the soup in small freezer ziploc bags. Then I can pull it out a portion at a time and easily defrost it. Plus, if you freeze them flat, you can relocated them in small corners because they are slim and fit well. They'll also stack easily.

I piled all the bags on a sheet pan and made my way to the garage freezer. I opened the door and uttered "Oh Shit!"

Apparently I had forgotten about my last cooking tirade. The freezer was jammed packed and a mess.

So, I had to clean out the freezer. Found a few things that had been in there since we moved into the house (over 4 years ago) and were liberally covered with ice crystals. I few things were unrecognizable. After reorganizing the rest of the stuff, I managed to fit all my packages and close the door. I'm going to have to start eating some of the things I've frozen before having a day in the kitchen again. If follow that direction, I should be able to use my kitchen sometime next year.

I also made some orgasmic brownies with raspberry and cream cheese from a Williams Sonoma cookbook. The recipe called for using raspberry jam or cream cheese. I used both. Why hold back. I've already "tested" 3 of them. They are gooey, chocolatey with a surprise shot of tart raspberry and the sweet finish of cream cheese. I'll leave a few for Big K and bring the rest to work tomorrow.

I'll let my guys at work get fat.

Dying For Chocolate - The woman is killing me!

I'm 4 pages into the book and I'm already starving. It's bad enough that she posts a menu on the title page, but to describe cheese strata in such detail makes me run to the fridge to count my eggs to see if I have enough to make one is plain torture! It's a good thing I have only 4 and only half a block of cheddar. My figure does not need the added grief of cheese and egg soaked bread cooked to a golden, bubbly brown. My grandmother makes the best strata every Christmas. My sister and I gorge ourselves silly, always burning our mouths because we can't seem to wait for it to cool.

This isn't my first "Goldy" book. I came across this series a few years ago and have been faithful follower. Unfortunately, I started somewhere in the middle and reading these few books from the beginning is a little weird. I ALWAYS start a series from the beginning. Nothing pisses me off when I start to like an author and read a book only to find out its the 3rd in a series and I have to start from the beginning knowing the outcome. ARRGGH! So when I found out that D.M.D had a few Goldy books before, I was completely put out. I would have to read them.

So, I already know where it's going to with Tom Schulz, Julian and The Jerk. But, I love reading about the food! She describes the textures and tastes so well that I gain 5 lbs just reading it! I have already peeked ahead and I'm planning to make those "Lethal Layer" bars tonight during the debate.

I will let you know the outcome tomorrow. The bars, not the debate. We all know what's going to happen with that!

Reasons Why

I'm a bibliophile. I am addicted.

I read day and night, night and day, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 (366 for Leap) days a week. I just can't get enough.

I love the smell of new books. I love opening a hardcover for the first time and hearing the crack of the spine. This is how you know that you are the first.

As the days grow shorter, weather grows cold, most people get drawn into a winter funk and complain that there is nothing to do. It's darker earlier, the weather sucks blah, blah blah! But, this is my favorite time of year. The couch beckons and my latest mistress teases me from the coffee table, the light from the candles dancing off the cover. The laundry can wait and the dishes will still be there a few hours from now. I want to dive into a world that is filled with mystery, romance or murder.....just for an hour or two. Then I can return to dogs that need to be walked, a husband that needs to be coddled and fed, and a job that makes me want to scream bloody murder while running down the sidewalk naked.

Why blog about books?

Because there isn't one person that I know who reads like I do. I love to discuss my latest find or reminisce about an old favorite. I am constantly amazed at the effect a single book will have on my daily life. My outlook on a subject might be altered, I might feel the urge to try something new or my mood will suddenly change. So, I'm gonna share damnit! Even if no one is reading.

I will blog about at least one book a week. As I read, I will give my opinion on the experience. I will post the next book on the top of the page if you want to get started ahead of me.

So, here I am. Naked and reading.